Big Paw Prints to Fill

When my lovely Winston passed away in January 2005, I was devastated. He was the perfect spot in my world and I was suddenly adrift. While he did not define me as a person, I felt that his presence had shaped who I was and how my art evolved for the 8 years we were together. Who would recognize me without the big brindle greyhound in the Crayola yellow collar leashed to my arm? It was difficult to express my grief in words so I expressed my grief over Winston the only way I knew how – through my art. The three images I created allowed me to survive the rawness of those first months in a quiet house. When they were finished, it was time to face the world again.


But was it? I felt I was still not ready. I began to doubt if I would ever adopt another greyhound but I missed having a dog. I missed the touch of a cold nose under my arm, jolting me out of a sound sleep. I missed the understanding of a sweet, fuzzy face as I shared all my secrets. I missed “that look”. Would another greyhound ever look at me like that again? I was uncomfortably jealous of my friends as they had what I no longer did. Winston is forever engraved on my heart. He left very big paw prints to fill. Another greyhound would never be Winston but I didn’t want him to be. A new greyhound deserved to be a dog of his own uniqueness, finding his place in the world and in my life. But my life was not as it should be and I had no idea when and if it would ever be normal again.

It’s funny how life manages to get you back on track even when you have no clue as to where the track will take you.

The prospect of suddenly sharing my life with 9 greyhounds never fazed me. How could it? I had nothing to compare it to. I had nothing to be afraid of. Ignorance can be bliss. 9 fuzzy faces opened their hearts and their home to me. One by one they each offered me their own unique gift.

Beauty made sure she took care of her newest “pup”.
Marty made sure I smiled.
Remy made sure I had a friend to snuggle with.
Scotty made sure I was protected.
Harley made sure I had someone to play with.
Nutmeg made sure I shared my things.
Blueberry made sure I continued what I started.
Bobo made sure I learn to expect the unexpected.
Dee made sure my new house felt like my home.

No, they are not Winston. Nor would I want them to be. They are Remy, Scotty, Marty, Blueberry, Nutmeg, Harley, Beauty, Bobo and Dee. And I love each of them for who they are. Hopefully as time goes on, I can give each of them a tiny bit of what Winston gave me.

Yes, Winston had very big paw prints to fill and it took 9 greyhounds to fill them.


Kathy