Quantity not quality

I’ve got so many bits of blogs rolling around in my head that I figured I’d toss them all together and see what happens. (I also do this when I open the fridge during a “Martha Moment” and feel the need to create a culinary masterpiece.) Nothing is involved enough to warrant an entire blog. Think of this as a test run for my one woman way off Broadway play. Now remember…my blog is my kingdom and I have the right of way. The rest of you guys are here because you’re bored or just nosey.

Hugh Grant:
I have seen EVERY film Hugh Grant has ever made. This includes the unintentionally funny “Lair of The White Worm” and the pretty but occasionally uncomfortable “Maurice” as well as the totally perfect “Love Actually”. Funny thing is, while I enjoy his acting, I don’t find him all that cute.


Burger Nation:
There are oodles of burger places. Fast, slow in-between. I sorely miss The Patio, a local chain where I used to live and Wonderburger, a fun and funky 50 year old + eatery in the neighborhood I grew up in. Their curly fries are as legendary as the mouthwatering taste of a “wonderburger”. Since moving to Arizona and jaunting with regularity to California & Nevada, I have discovered perhaps the ultimate in hamburger heaven – In ‘N Out Burger. The first time I ever heard of In ‘N Out was on an episode of “The Osborne’s” when Ozzy & Kelly get lunch to go at the drive-up. The open box rather than a bag totally freaked me out. Well, it’s less scary in person. And all they have are burgers – no chicken, no breakfast, no salads. AMEN!!!! But In ‘N Out offers all their burgers protein style, wrapped in lettuce rather than a bun. Now that is total heaven. Oh sacred In ‘N Out Burger, where have you been my whole life???


My Fairly Odd Parents:
If written as a book, the trials and tribulations of my dysfunctional family would be longer than “War & Peace”. (However, I found “Black Lamb and Grey Falcon” by Rebecca West waaaaaaaay longer!!!) So it should have come as no surprise to me when, prompted by the news of my separation (and subsequent divorce) my parents began speaking to each other after 23 years. Well heck, I hadn’t spoken to my father for give or take 22 years. Kodak family moments were rare for me growing up so it was with dumbfounded amazement that I experienced the 3 of us in the same room actually talking to each other. I guess when push came to shove, they were able to put aside their issues and be there to help me. Oh and those pink thingies you’ve seen flying around? Don’t worry…they’re just pigs.


My Sex And The City moment:
I had my hair guy for almost 20 years. Unfortunately, the ex had my hair guy for about 25 years. In the event of le divorce, make sure you do not have the same stylist as it seem possession of the hair guy goes to whoever’s been going to him longer. While pledging not to take sides, my hair guy called me 10 minutes before my (unknowingly last) scheduled appointment to tell me it would no longer be possible for him to do my hair.
MY HAIR GUY DUMPED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily I asked him for the #’s and formulas of my hair color. (Oh grow up! Did you actually think my hair was naturally these colors????!!!???) Happily (or so I thought) he complied. A few weeks later I found a new hair babe who did everything she could to talk me out of the color #’s and formulas I had given her saying they did not match what was on my head. Pishaw! Color away, new hair babe, it will be fine. And it was…providing I actually wanted the Elvira, Mistress of the Dark look.
MY EX-HAIR GUY GAVE ME THE WRONG COLOURS!!!!!!!!!
After the initial shock wore off, I got used to my rust, mahogany and dark brown hair. Actually it didn’t look that bad. And looking good is always the best revenge.


Giada de Laurentiis:
Holy Cow! Where have you been my whole life??? Yes, I am a little tardy jumping on the Giada bandwagon. I want to look like her. I want to talk like her. I want to cook like her. I want to have her pipeline to all the best chocolate indulgences. Cripe I’ve turned into a Giadabe!!!!


She's Got Legs:
My legs are my worst feature. One leg is a half inch shorter than the other, giving some wags proof that I really am off balance. An operation when I was young did reduce the difference in length (it had been 1.5 inches) and got me out of orthopedic shoes and lifts after 11 years but it left me with 8 inch scars on each side of my knee and left said knee looking not unlike an overripe grapefruit. Naturally I wear pants as much as possible and my skirts or dresses fall almost to my ankles with boots or dark hose providing total coverage. So with this delightful quirk, you can imagine my joy at living in Arizona, the land of shorts and flip-flops. Flip-flops yes, shorts in public – NEVER!!!


So You Wanna Be A Rock & Roll Star:
Well actually, yes I do. And with my musical ability, I could win “American Idol” hands down. In the “Worst Singer on the Planet” category. I’m so off key I can’t even open the door. I will sing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. So if your ears suddenly start bleeding, look around ‘cause I might be close by.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this little peeky-boo into the nether regions of my mind…or lack of one!

Kathy